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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Goldman May Run As VP On Colbert Ticket

Today, while squelching rumors that The American Theater is "going condo," Patrick Properties Managing Partner, restaurateur, hospitality mogul, Scorpio (November 14) and all around swell guy, Randall Goldman, announced that he may run as Vice President of the United States on the Colbert ticket. Goldman has already formed an exploratory committee and expects to announce his decision in January.

When reached for comment, Goldman said, "I think America deserves me. I see mints on every American's pillow. No child left untucked. No infused-liquors served without a cocktail napkin. Make reservations, not war. That's what I've got so far. Colbert and I are working out the rest."

Late this afternoon, for no particular reason, Goldman said, "Really, I just want an espresso." We'll keep you updated.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hope he'll do better as VP than he does treating employees.